Bit of a change of direction.

I have had a bit of a not so fantastic Monday morning so far.

At work, the nice lady one notch up from me, told me that I wouldn’t get the training that I wanted. Well, not until we had moved buildings at least. And we have been just about to move since I first sat down on the job almost a year ago.

Now where I work is convenient. VERY convenient. It’s a short toddle from home; I need not use public transport. It’s so close to home that, even if there is rain, which let’s face is there is a lot of in Ireland, so I don’t get too wet on my way. The people at work are lovely, really, I would be hard pushed to pick a nicer bunch.

So, why am I having a gripe?

Well it’s like this. My last job made me feel important. In my last job, I was actually playing a large part in keeping people alive, and I felt that I was making a difference in people’s lives. Although I had a bunch of arses to deal with, I liked it. Here, I feel that I am of little consequence to anyone really. Not that I felt that I was passionate about the industry that I was in before, I REALLY do not like the consequences that I am working towards now. I answer the phone, I do a little typing, blah blah, and there is little chance of the role growing with my talents and capabilities.

Basically is it time to do something or to get lost in the corporate collective.

So, I will, over the next few days do some research, and then I will take some courses myself, fund myself, owe nobody, hopefully earn more so that I can afford to go part-time.

On the non-work front.

I was grazing the internet this morning and I took a look at an ex-boyfriends website. Now, he treated me fairly badly.

I am not wounded, I am not knife wielding angry, and I am not longing for anything that I don’t have and I am certainly not searching just out of curiosity, let’s just make that clear.

He admitted himself that by the time that I had had enough, he thought that we might just really have something, even though I was the scarlet woman in this scenario. If not to his work, then to the woman living in his house.

Now, I had a secret thought in my head or even a wicked little angel on my shoulder that every so often said “What if??”

Well, I have answered that question! If the “What if??” had happened, I sincerely believe that I would have been treated no better than he had already treated me. I would be much less happy than I am now, I would be taken for granted completely, and who knows, I may still have been that other woman.

It really puts me in the mind of the Tori Amos song “Another Girl’s Paradise”. Indeed, I’m sure that there are a gaggle of women who would adore to have been in the lap of the situation that I was in. But indeed, it wasn’t for me.

Where I am now, I am so completely happy. Happy, in a really holistic way. I am with a sensitive, responsible, intelligent, funny man who both respects and loves me and I love him, lots. It’s a no brainer really.